


look into my eyes and see

by Gytha_Bagshot



Series: Preludes [3]
Category: Twosetviolin, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Obliviousness, but cute also, eddy really be stupid, heart eyes, useless metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gytha_Bagshot/pseuds/Gytha_Bagshot
Summary: They fail to recognize it, really: the hearts in each other's eyes. It's all wallpaper to them.Until Eddy realizes.
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Series: Preludes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179677
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	look into my eyes and see

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twosetmeridian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosetmeridian/gifts).



> Obviously english is not my first language, so if you notice some mistakes feel free to point them out, I'm here to learn!  
> And now, a classic but usefull warning: Brett and Eddy are their own property (at least I hope so) and this is purely a work of fiction. I ship them for the sake of literature but I actually don't really care what their private life looks like. I just hope they're happy!  
> Thank you for taking the time to read my work, I hope you'll enjoy it!  
> Gytha <3
> 
> PS; this is dedicated to merri because it's inspired by one of her tweets <3

Eddy knew it was a bad idea.  _ Don’t lurk on their Twitter fanbase. Never. Ever. _

It is just common sense, but he learned it the hard way: his misplaced curiosity caused him a lot of cringe, and even some pain. Their fans are nice and cute, but-... well. They’re passionate, and he  _ really _ doesn’t understand how so many people can love him so much.

He doesn’t understand either how so many people can think Brett and him could-... how can they imagine Brett would ever-... ?

_ Anyway. _

He knows he’s not supposed to check Twitter, but he cannot help it. He liked their last video and wants to know how it was received. Obviously, their fans liked it as well. They appreciate Sophie, they missed the charades…  _ Good, good. _

But, just as he’s about to close the app, a tweet catches his attention. (He should have known, really.)

“ _ HEART EYES ALERT!! a thread” _

_ Oh, no. _

Eddy does not need this. He’s in a ‘concealing’ phase, right now (yes, his feelings towards Brett have phases, some kind of a cycle. He regularly comes from expressiveness to ignorance for some reason, urge to confess alternating with an unbearable fear of rejection). So: he’s definitely  _ not _ in a wallowing-in-self-pity kind of mood. Right now, Brett is the last person he wants to think about. The way some of their fans  _ ship _ them is the last thing he needs to think about.

So why does he click on the tweet to unroll the thread? Why doesn’t he just smartly close the app and go practice?  _ Eddy fucking Chen, you dumb fuck, what the fuck are you fucking doing? _

Yep, this was definitely stupid. This thread is just a dozen of screenshots from their last videos where he’s spotted looking at Brett the way he always does: giving him all his attention when he talks, fascinated when he smiles, tenderly when he messes something up, lovingly when he-... actually, always.

_ Shit. _

These fans are obviously onto him… And Eddy wonders who else is. Ray, obviously, knows everything there is to know about his indefinite pining. Their other friends… He hopes they didn’t notice anything, but he can not delude himself: some of them probably guessed something (their glances and sarcastic smirks speak for themselves) (he hates that).

So, some people know he’s in love with Brett.

_ As long as Brett himself doesn’t know, he’s good. _

Eddy feels weird, now. He needs to think about something else, but cannot help to scroll until the end of the thread.  _ How stupid does he look, staring at his friend like this? _

The last tweet is something else, though.

“ _ Here’s the link for Brett’s version >>>” _

Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Are they going to over analyse the way Brett looks at him as well, now?

He’s dumb enough to click on the link.

***

Eddy knew it was a bad idea.  _ Don’t lurk on their Twitter fanbase. Never. Ever. Don’t look at the pictures they screenshot and edit from their videos, don’t look at the drawings. _

It is just common sense, but now the harm has been done. He looked, and saw, and denied, and looked again, and laughed from awkwardness, and said “nah, that’s bullshit“ out loud, and looked again, and wondered, and now his brain can’t stop thinking about it.

He knows he stares a lot at Brett, he knows he can barely help it, he knows his looks can give him away sometimes (the thread on Twitter taught him it’s actually  _ all the time _ , but he tries really hard not to think about it). 

He also knows Brett doesn’t look at him this way. He knows Brett looks at him the way people look at their friends: in an amicable, cordial way that doesn’t mean anything.

At least, that’s what he thought.

Because now, now that he’s looked at the thread, and the screenshots their fans made, he  _ doubts _ .

Wait, no. This isn’t actually doubt yet, it’s just a hint of suspicion, a tiny spark of hope he immediately brushes away.

_ They are crazy _ , he tries to think.

_ They made it up _ , he wants to believe.

_ They’re seeing love where there is just a strong friendship _ , he repeats in his mind, desperate to convince himself.

Because- well. These looks are not new. Brett has always looked at him this way: intensely. Fondly.

Lovingly.

Because Brett loves him, right? Of course he does. Friends like each other, best friends love each other platonically and there’s nothing weird about that. Except… Except that Eddy’s love for Brett is not platonic.  _ Not at all _ . 

Eddy’s love is definitely romantic, passionate, and  _ very  _ inappropriate.

And Brett’s love for Eddy… Has no reason not to be 100% friendly. 

Their fans seem to disagree, though.

_ But what do they know? _

( _ They know you’re desperate, and there’s no turning back.) _

_ Fuck. _

***

Eddy knows it is a bad idea.  _ Don’t get your hopes up _ .  _ Don’t look for clues, don’t try to guess, because you will just be disappointed. _

It is just common sense, but his obsessive mind refuses to let this go. 

What if?

What if they were right?

What if Brett  _ did _ look at him this way?

What if Brett was… What if Brett thought… What if Brett felt…?

So Eddy looks, and watches, and observes. When they’re filming, when they’re working, when they’re just hanging out together in their living room, doing nothing but scrolling on some kind of social media. 

He looks, and notices  _ nothing _ . Yes, Brett looks at him a lot. Yes, the smiles he gives him are bright, and light up his world like nobody else. Yes, He sometimes moves his chair closer to him, and when he does Eddy can feel his arm brush against his, and he almost blushes. (He doesn’t, of course. It took him years of practice to control his body’s reactions in front of Brett, but now everything is under control. Almost.)

But, really, what’s new? Brett’s always been a cheerful person, with bright smiles and starry eyes. Brett’s always been an extrovert, why wouldn’t he look at him in the eyes when they talk? Brett’s always been a tactile person as well; their closeness is natural to him.

The question is, now:

Does Brett show an equal sensitivity, and friendship with other people?

Is Eddy a privileged person, in Brett’s own realm, or just a peasant? If he’s privileged (and he thinks he is, they’re best friends after all), did he fight for his nobility with his sword, and conquer his king’s heart with courage, and flame? Or did the director of his life’s magnanimity pitied him enough to grant him these benefits?

In the end, does it even matter? Brett is the one who gets to decide, after all. He’s his own heart’s sovereign, and Eddy, whether noble or serf, is only his most humble subject.

_ It does feel like that, sometimes. It only takes a smile, a gesture, a look for Eddy to fall at his feet and let him win their games, ignore his wrong notes during sight reading challenges, laugh when he makes a dumb joke… and always, everywhere, all the time, follow him in his craziest ideas. And everywhere, always, until the end of times, support him, protect him, keep him safe, even if it means giving his life away, for him. _

Okay, this is getting out of hand. When Eddy gets lost in his metaphors, he needs a reality check: who better than Ray, the old, wise and sassy friend, to play the role of his confident?

Their text messages look approximately like that:

**_\- Hey bro, can I show you something?_ **

**_\- Please don’t be weird_ **

**_\- BRO NO it’s just_ **

**_Nevermind_ **

**_\- C’mon, show me_ **

**_\- Look at this thread on twitter. What do you think about_ **

**_It?_ **

**_About what it could mean?_ **

**_\- Ok man what is new? You look at him as if you were desperately in love with him, because you are indeed desperately in love with him._ **

**_\- No but at the end_ **

**_The_ **

**_Other version_ **

**_HIS looks_ **

**_\- Give me two seconds_ **

**_Mmmmh_ **

**_Ok_ **

**_Again : what is new?_ **

**_\- ?_ **

**_\- He’s always been looking at you this way, you know._ **

**_And, honestly?_ **

**_You’re the only one grabbing his attention like that_ **

**_Without letting go_ **

**_He doesn’t listen to me this way_ **

**_He doesn’t look at me this way_ **

**_He just_ **

**_Looks at you when you’re not looking_ **

**_And vice versa_ **

**_\- Are you_ **

**_What_ **

**_Are you sure_ **

**_???_ **

**_Please don’t joke about that._ **

**_\- I’m not joking._ **

**_I’m very serious_ **

**_All the time_ **

**_Ahah_ **

**_\- Shut up_ **

**_That’s not funny_ **

**_\- Yes it is_ **

**_Bro come on_ **

**_Confess already_ **

**_How many times should I tell you this??_ **

**_He’s not going to reject you_ **

**_And if he does, you’ll find a way to protect your friendship_ **

**_For god’s sake_ **

**_Y’all are freaking adults_ **

**_I’m not your dad_ **

**_Take a grip, grow some balls and be honest with him_ **

**_Jeez_ **

**_\- Wow ok_ **

**_I’ll_ **

**_Maybe I will tell him_ **

**_Just_ **

**_Calm down bro_ **

***

Eddy hopes it is a good idea.  _ Muster the courage. Find the right time. Find the right words. Clench his fists and his buttocks. _

_ Forget the words. _

_ Turn crimson. _

Brett is slouched on their couch, as he does when he’s keenly procrastinating something.

He looks tired; even his thumb’s movements, slowly scrolling on some social media, seem lazy.

_ Maybe it’s not a good time. I’ll tell him tomorrow. _

“Hey Eddy, what’s up?”

“N- Nothing? I was just going to bed.”

“You were about to say something.”

“No I wasn’t, why would you say that? Stop looking at me like I’m lying, I wasn’t- stop smiling like that!! Dude I swear to god-... Okay I lied.”

Eddy lets out a sigh and sits next to Brett, who scoots over until their arms are brushing against each other, and nudges him.

“What is bothering you?” he asks softly, and Eddy doesn’t dare to look at him. He can feel the pressure of Brett’s look on his face, attentive eyes scanning him like an X-ray machine.

He quivers when he puts his slender hand on his shoulder and squeezes it lightly.

_ Oh my god. _

Eddy closes his eyes and takes a deep, shaking breath before stammering:

“There’s, hum… There’s something I’ve meant- I’ve meant-... I’ve always wanted to-... I mean… I need to tell-... you. To tell you.”

Brett seems perplexed when he answers: “Hum… Alright?”

Faced with Eddy’s lack of response, he goes on.

“You know, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay. I don’t need to know everything about you if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s your call.”

And this, this supportive, understanding, simple sentence breaks something in Eddy’s mind. A fifteen-years old wall cracks, a small pebble falls off the mountain, and suddenly everything collapses.

Shame, Lies, Compromise, Prejudice, Cowardice, scared off by the force of his love, they all run away. In his heart he brandishes his sword and turns to face his nemesis, his Achilles heel, his only oxygen bottle in his drowning world: Brett’s gaze.

For a second, he fights, and he fights, and he fights, lips quivering and hands clenching painfully. He fights for his hope, for his heart, for his king, and he knows he might lose everything, but in the end he doesn’t fight hoping for success. This might be a lost cause, but isn’t it more beautiful when it is useless?

And when he’s defeated his last foe (Fear, his archenemy), he just looks straight in Brett’s worried eyes, and says:

“I’ve been in love with you for so long I’ve forgotten when it started. I’m used to it, like I’m used to breathing, or walking, or practicing. I’m so used to it, I never understood it was actually noticeable for other people, I mean, other than us. And apparently, everybody actually knows. Because I’m that bad at lying. So, here. I’m tired of fighting, tired of concealing, tired of trying. Now you know everything there is to know, and I don’t have to worry about hiding my looks, and my smiles. You do whatever you want with this information. I trust you with this. I’d trust you with my life, really… So please don’t use this against me.”

There’s a moment of silence. Brett’s face is scarlett and still, and suddenly all Eddy’s enemies return. Fear is the first to reach him, and it clenches his throat with its icing claw.

“I’m- Listen Brett, I’m so sorry if-... I shouldn’t have-...”

“You’ll see how I’ll use this information.”

His words sound kinda dry and  _ this was such a bad idea _ , and- Eddy freezes again when Brett leans in.

_ The lips are chapped and shaking a little bit on his mouth. They move slowly and Eddy’s stillness doesn’t discourage them. The tip of a tongue skims for a millisecond on his bottom lip and then. There’s nothing else in the world but Brett, his scent, his lips, his hands and everything he can reach, every single bit of skin he can discover, and touch, and stroke, and lose himself in. _

***

Hours later, or maybe days, when they film another video, Eddy doesn’t try to hide his loving gaze. He locks his eyes in Brett’s instead, and doesn’t want to let go.

Ever.

Let people make threads about them on Twitter. 

The more, the better.

_ Turns out Eddy had been reigning on Brett’s heart for a long time. _

**Author's Note:**

> Here, I hope you liked it! It would mean the world to me if you left a comment :D


End file.
